


Moments Spent Apart

by malsseong



Series: After the Mountain [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-08
Updated: 2015-03-08
Packaged: 2018-03-16 22:15:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3504689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malsseong/pseuds/malsseong
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lexa nods in a way that makes it obvious that it’s taking a lot of effort not to insist that Clarke stay.<br/>Instead, she moves to the entrance of the tent, and holds the flap open for Clarke to pass under.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Moments Spent Apart

When Clarke’s eyes are beginning to burn from exhaustion — long after the empty tray of food has been collected, and the camp outside has fallen quiet — Lexa places her hand on the blonde’s shoulder, breaking her focus on the map in front of her.

“Enough, Clarke,” she says as her hand falls back to her side, fingers brushing gently down Clarke’s arm on their descent.

Clarke shakes her head, ready to offer up a protest, but the sudden movement makes her dizzy. She releases a loud sigh; frustration combined with exhaustion.

When Lexa offers her the use of her bed, offers to stand guard while Clarke sleeps, she does so with her back turned to the blonde.  
And Clarke desperately wishes she could have seen the Commander’s face as she was speaking, so she could try to get a read on the brunette’s emotions, try to understand the intention behind the offer.

Because try as she might, she just does not understand Lexa, or her motivations.  
Is this part of a plea for forgiveness? Is this diplomacy being shown to an equal with whom she’s negotiating an uneasy alliance?  
Or — and for a moment, the thought startles Clarke — is this just what Lexa is like when the weight of leadership is temporarily removed from her shoulders? Is she secretly this soft and kind-hearted? Without the burden of leadership, would Lexa be gentle and doting?

And not for the first time, Clarke wonders what Lexa was like with Costia. What the Commander was like before loss and heartbreak made her jaded, and sharpened her hard edges into blades used to keep others at bay.

She wonders if Lexa and Costia would lay awake at night, exchanging declarations of love.

And — before she can stop herself — she wonders if Lexa would’ve betrayed Costia at Mount Weather.  
The thought makes her head spin, so she tries to push it from her mind.

She shakes her head at Lexa, refusing to meet the other woman’s eyes for fear of what the Commander might find in her gaze. “I’ll be back in the morning.”

Lexa nods in a way that makes it obvious that it’s taking a lot of effort not to insist that Clarke stay.  
Instead, she moves to the entrance of the tent, and holds the flap open for Clarke to pass under.

“Until morning,” Lexa says, and Clarke pauses mid-stride at the softness of the Commander’s voice. If she didn’t know who she was talking about — and didn’t slightly fear the consequences of implying weakness — she may have even described the tone as “sweet”.

She places her hand over the hand that’s holding the tent flap open, and squeezes it once, quickly, before forcing herself to let go, and stepping quickly into the dimness outside.

As she disappears into the shadows at the edge of camp, out of reach of campfire light, she chances a glance back, and is struck by the sight of the Commander.  
The brunette is still standing in the opening of the tent, painted face upturned toward the night sky, firelight dancing on her pale skin. Her smile is soft, and wistful, and so full of longing that Clarke’s heart aches for her.

She watches the Commander cast one final glance around the camp, surveying her people, before disappearing back into the tent.

***

After a night spent sleeping in fits and starts, mind incessantly returning to the Commander and her motives, Clarke finds herself feeling irrationally angry at the brunette for her own mind’s night time wanderings and the terrible lack of sleep they’ve caused her.

She emerges into the shadowy light of pre-dawn with a scowl on her face and bite to her words, and practically stomps to the Grounder camp, feeling childish at her actions, but unable to completely temper them. The Grounders have barely begun to stir, so she makes a concerted effort to quiet her movements as she slips through the camp.

The guards standing at the entrance to the Commander’s tent don’t acknowledge her in any way, but they make no move to stop her when she steps past them.

She gets an immature little thrill at the thought of waking the Commander before the sun has even risen, and enters the tent with a small smile on her face.

She searches the empty bed of furs for a moment, before her eyes dart over to the map table and the brunette leaning against it, map clutched in one hand.

Lexa glances up from her work, and a smile spreads across her face at the sight of the blonde.

All Clarke’s juvenile irritation floods away as she becomes lost in wondering how Lexa’s eyes can possibly be such a different colour when they’re surrounded by war paint than they are now.

And suddenly the eyes are so much closer, because Lexa is standing right in front of her, grabbing her hand, and pulling her towards the map table.

“I’ve been up most of the night thinking. And I think I have the answer,” she says as she grabs the map she’d been poring over when the blonde arrived.

And when she tries to release Clarke’s hand in order to grab the other side of the map and unfurl it, the blonde tightens her hold on the Commander’s hand, refusing to release it.

Lexa glances up sharply at the blonde, but Clarke just grabs the other edge of the map, and pulls it flat across the table, making a show of focusing her attention on it.

From the corner of her eye, Clarke can see the smile on the brunette’s face, can hear the way it shapes her words.

But despite her obvious amusement, the Commander dutifully drops her gaze to the map, and sets about explaining her plan to Clarke, all the while pretending that they’re not holding hands under the table.


End file.
